Sharing the burden
I met him before he was diagnosed. He offered us Christian friendship and encouragement as a young family and to my husband as he began his ministry. He was a retired pastor, husband, father, grandfather, colleague, friend to many, child of God.
He had once been keen to tell a joke, but this was no joke. He stood before our congregation that Sunday, his eyes full with tears as he read from his notes. He shared with us that dementia was the reason for his slipping memory and his recent curious behaviour. He then boldly asked that we walk with him through his dark valley.
We give thanks that our value is not determined by how we think or remember, and what we can or cannot do, but rather by who we are as those created, loved and redeemed by God.
Sharing in the burden of a loved one is far from easy. This is especially so with those living with dementia, as our dear one’s personality and memory fades away. How do we walk with someone when their memories of us evaporate and we grieve the loss of the person even as they live?
We can find peace in the knowledge that, even living with dementia, we are all created in the image of God. This peace is ours because we know that who we are is defined by God’s relationship to us. We give thanks that our value is not determined by how we think or remember, and what we can or cannot do, but rather by who we are as those created, loved and redeemed by God. Our God, the Beginning and the End, is steadfast and is for us.
Through times of suffering we grow in Christ’s love as we ask that through him we be given the grace and strength needed to endure.
Christ’s love bears burdens and copes with deep dependence. Dementia mounts a great weight on our relationship with loved ones. But we can have confidence in Christ’s strength as we share in life’s burdens. By responding to the need of our loved ones, praying and trusting and learning from Christ, we find ourselves walking with them through those very dark valleys.
Lutherans for Life is made up of everyday people who believe that it is through these very times of uncertainty, struggle and suffering, that people need Christian encouragement the most. Lutherans for Life offers conversation and resources by sharing stories and connecting people who have shared in similar experiences, or would like to seek pastoral care as they face particular vulnerabilities.
Kimberley Pfeiffer is the editor of Life News, a quarterly publication produced by Lutherans for Life.
To receive a copy of Life News or to learn more about Lutherans for Life, please email lutheransforlife@gmail.com
This feature story comes from The Lutheran August 2016. Visit the website to find out more about The Lutheran or to subscribe.
