Memory loss and despair
by Chelsea Pietsch
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She said to Elijah, ‘What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?’ (1 Kings 17:18)
The widow at Zarephath was a woman who experienced the Lord’s faithfulness firsthand. Earlier in chapter 17, she expected to die on account of running out of food. But when the prophet Elijah appeared, she shared her last provisions with him. And – thanks be to God – her flour and oil didn’t run out as she had anticipated (verse 16).
You might expect that after an experience such as this, the goodness and mercy of the Lord would be etched in her mind so that she would be forever changed. You might expect that when another trial came her way, she would remember what God had done for her and trustingly say, ‘God has provided for me in the past; he will again’. Not so.
When the widow faces her next serious trial (her son becomes deathly ill), she quickly falls into despair. She turns to Elijah in a panicked state and blames him, saying, ‘What do you have against me, man of God? Did you come to remind me of my sin and kill my son?’
How often are we like the widow at Zarephath? Despite having experienced the blessing of God in our lives, when suffering befalls us or someone we love, we are quick to blame others and despair. We forget how God has provided for us in the past, and we despise the suffering that comes our way.
This response is very telling. It reveals our lack of faith, and it exposes our hidden belief that no adversity could befall us. It shows us up to be ‘theologians of glory’ – people who expect Christ’s comfort but not his cross.
Yet, despite the widow’s lack of faith, and despite ours, God gives what we do not deserve. In the widow’s case, Elijah stretches himself out on the boy three times, and he lives. Christ, too, grants us life even when we expect – and perhaps even deserve – death. He takes our despair to the cross, and in exchange, gives us healing and peace.
Can you think of a time in your life when God delivered you from a state of despair, even when you failed to turn to him?
Dear Heavenly Father, have mercy on our unbelief and save us from despair. Please send me your Holy Spirit to increase my faith in Christ, your Son. Amen.
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